I know today is Monday but April 4th will always be Black Sunday for us. Today is the 7th anniversary of Black Sunday and I have never blogged about it mainly out of fear. I don't want to stir up any unwanted feelings for my husband or any of my blog-readers but I feel today that this deserves a post.
April 4, 2004 Daniel was in Iraq. Sadr City, Iraq, with the 1st Cavalry Division. They had only been in Iraq a few weeks, and in fact were still in the process of switching command from the 1st Armored Division that was there previously.
All I know is what Dan has told me about this horrific day (it actually ended up lasting several days) and that is not much, but insurgents started attacking 1st Cav soldiers that were out on a routine patrol sparking a HUGE battle. By the next day 8 soldiers had been killed and more than 60 were wounded. This day was so different than any other in the war, that there is even a book about about it called The Long Road Home.
I don't ever speak for Daniel about these events because I just don't know. I can't relate. I wasn't there. So therefore I will only talk about it from my perspective.
I was home - alone in Texas with our three small beautiful children.
I was beyond scared and overwhelmed. I was still adjusting to being a single wife with three kids. Ryleigh was in kindergarten and both the boys were at home. Ethan was just a baby and Spencer was a curious toddler.
Just like I was still adjusting to the life of a soldier's wife, the rear-detachment soldiers were also adjusting to running the division back in Texas while most of its 100,000+ soldiers were fighting in Iraq. Rear-Detachment is supposed to be a support for the families back home, and for soldiers that were not eligible to deploy. When a soldier dies in combat, rear-D finds out first, sets up the necessary procedures and then the family gets notified. It is supposed to be a smooth running operation.
When a soldier dies in combat everything goes dark. The soldiers have no way of getting in contact with their families back home. The phone lines get shut down, the computers & Internet get shut down and letters stop until all the families have been notified.
It was more than 10 days before I heard from Daniel. It took Rear-D almost 2 weeks to notify the eight families of their soldiers death and the other 60 families that their soldier would soon be returning to the United States in grave conditions. As wives, we tried to stay connected with one another and be each others support, but we were all in a state of panic. Waiting for those two officers in their Class-A uniforms to knock on the door and tell you that your husband was a hero and they are sorry.
In the weeks that followed the other wives and I attended at least 5 funerals or memorial services and did countless numbers of fundraisers to help the families survive while they were waiting for the military to finish the final paperwork. We watched kids and tried to be strong. We were grateful that our husbands were safe and we were sad that their husbands were not.
All of our husbands made it home. I will be eternally grateful for that. They have all returned a different person than we said good-bye to on March 12, 2004 but I don't believe that it is possible to live through those horrible days and be the same.
I am thankful for my soldier. Even though he has not been in the military for 5 years now he will always be my soldier. He is the hero of our family. I love him with all my heart and every year on this day I thank my heavenly father that Dan came home to us. I know that he was protected. I hope to never go through a year like that ever again. You honestly don't know how much something means to you until you realize how quickly it can be taken away.
